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I'm a Dork

Chinese knot tying shouldn't be as interesting as it is. I am fascinated. I can make a dragonfly!

Yup. I'm the coolest kid you know!

09:12 on December 21, 2000 image
Thoughts

I gave up my future for a dream, but I made the right choice.

12:12 on December 6, 2000 image
Orchids and Kung Fu

Today was really nice. Daniel and I went to Hausermann's and looked at orchids. I didn't buy any, even though there were at least 700 that I wanted. Next week I will get one. But only one.

Later we walked down to the "L" stop and went to Bandera. I had four Bloody Marys. Whee! Then I had the fabulous mashed potatoes and nutty cole slaw that they make!

Now I am home and we are going to watch Buddhist Fist.

Yeah.

12:11 on November 12, 2000 image
Underwater Pyramids

Underwater Pyramids: Japan

Utterly fascinating! I remember listing to Art Bell one night and he was talking about this. I want to go and see it for myself.

07:11 on November 7, 2000 image
Lazy Weekend

You know, that cookie didn't lie. I had a wonderful weekend.

Daniel came to visit and we did lots of nothing. It was exactly what I didn't know I needed. I nearly feel normal again.

And he left an entire bag of snack sized kit-kats here! Delicious chocolate! Come to me.

01:10 on October 23, 2000 image
Honest Cookie

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12:10 on October 20, 2000 image
Knock, Knock

Look who was pecking on my balcony this afternoon.

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A White Breasted Nuthatch!

07:10 on October 17, 2000 image
Now Hosted by Dreamhost

Wow, that was fast!

The switch to Dreamhost went smoothly and took less than a day!

I am so happy!

08:10 on October 14, 2000 image
Where Could It Be

I think I am losing my mind.

A few months ago my Mag-lite disappeared from my apartment. I always kept it next to my futon on a little table. One day I came home and it wasn't there.

Then some photos off my drawing table went missing.

A little later a shirt from my closet.

Now a little notebook with the login information for all my accounts has disappeared from my computer desk. It also has other less important stuff in it, like books I want to buy, cd's, and that sort of thing. I always keep it on my desk, in a certain place. Always!

Now, you have to understand something. I live in a tiny apartment. Just a living area, kitchen and bathroom. No bedroom, no fancy anything.

I don't have very much stuff. A futon, a desk, a drawing table, some books. That's it. There's no place for things to go missing. Nothing under the bed, behind this or in that. I am very orderly and I keep my place clean.

So where did these things go? I wouldn't care so much, but there is really important stuff kept in that notebook. Well actually it's one of those wire-bound recipe card things, but whatever, right.

I swear, I really am going crazy.

08:10 on October 13, 2000 image
Ultra Geek, with Cape

Dual boot, dual monitors, baby!

I am way too geek! Wearing this electric blanket like a cape proves it.

Microsoft said it couldn't be done, installing another OS after Win2k, but I did it! And it was so easy!

Next?

Triple boot. I want to play with Red Hat!

Yeah!

04:10 on October 13, 2000 image
Phobia

What are you afraid of?

Me?

Atomosophobia
Bogyphobia
Spheksophobia
Thantophobia

04:10 on October 13, 2000 image
Burrito and Chips

I have a new addiction.

Matthew's Cheddar Chipotle Burritos.

Also, I found the best salt and vinegar chips ever!

Boulder Malt Vinegar and Sea Salt Chips.

Hmm, can you guess what I had for lunch?

03:10 on October 13, 2000 image
Giggles

Why is it so nice today? I want to wear my heatie-blanket cape.

Oh, so cozy! I'm laughing just thinking about it.

03:10 on October 13, 2000 image
Morning Surprise

As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I walked over to the balcony window. I like to see what's going on out in the trees behind my apartment. Usually sparrows, cardinals, woodpeckers, squirrels and other cute things are going about their morning rituals too.

As I stood there, brush-a brush-a brush-a, I noticed something in the top of the tree next to my balcony. I couldn't really see it, but I could see the branches and leaves swaying with it's weight.

Then, I saw a tiny paw reach out and grab a ripe orange berry.

Squirrel, I thought.

Suddenly he poked his head out from behind a bunch of berries.

It was a chipmunk!

I didn't even know they could climb trees.

I brush-a brushed while he had breakfast, stuffing his cheeks full of tasty berries.

Maybe he will come back for dinner. I will take his picture, because he is cute!

01:10 on October 6, 2000 image
Hamster Haiku

More pseudo-haiku by your's truly.

The hamster,
is beginning,
to stink!

Soggy pine chips,
empty sunflower shells,
out, out you go!

Freshly scented house,
happiest hammy,
in you go!

05:10 on October 4, 2000 image
Books to Read

Books I want to read:

Buddhism of Tibet And the Key to the Middle Way
- Translated by Jeffrey Hopkins

Dalai Lama's Little Book of Wisdom

Freedom in Exile : The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama of Tibet

My Land and My People : Memoirs of the Dalai Lama

05:10 on October 4, 2000 image
Words by Shantideva

For as long as space endures
And for as long as living beings remain,
Until then may I too abide
To dispel the misery of the world.

- Shantideva

05:10 on October 4, 2000 image
Yo-Yo Song

I have a yo!
Look at it go!
My little yo!

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02:10 on October 4, 2000 image
Home

I'm not really sure what about crossing the Mississippi River and entering Illinios makes me feel like I am home.

12:09 on September 30, 2000 image
Oh! My

Paintball gun, Paintball gun! How I love you!

12:09 on September 30, 2000 image
Best Find Ever

Ok! This is so fantastic!

There's this Army surplus store next to the Belmont stop. They have all kinds of stuff. Good Stuff. And really awesome clothes too!

Last night we went the Chicago Diner for a late dinner when I got in. As we passed the Army Surplus store, guess what was in the display window.

That's right!

A shiny silver firefighter's mask. Not a biohazard one, but cool none the less. I bet the rest of the suit it just waiting for me inside!

I am going to be Captain Space Grrl from the Year 3000!

12:09 on September 30, 2000 image
Urgent Message

Please send more Ginger Gold apples. They are so delicious. I have never had a tastier apple. I ate four in the last 15 minutes and now they are all gone.

12:09 on September 27, 2000 image
Dust

I think I must have something in my eye. I am all tears.

07:09 on September 27, 2000 image
Sad Day

Nothing like guilt to ruin a nice day.

I received this email a minute ago:

From: ***@pop.belmont.edu
To: PufferGrrl
Subject: Re: puffer question

i emailed you cuz i couldn't find it on your site. nevermind, he's dead now anyway.
---


A little history.

This girl wrote me last week about what to feed her new puffer. I have been sick, so I haven't been checking or answering my email. I had time today to catch up on email. I told her to read through the Pantry and the rest of the site as well.

Her reply has left me heartbroken.

Now, I know this really isn't my fault. You don't buy a pet if you can't care for it. You don't buy a pet if you don't know how to care for it.

I feel terrible because yet another puffer has been killed due to ignorance. And I feel like it's my fault because my site isn't easy to use or informative enough.

All I wanted was to educate people.

All I wanted was to keep every puff healthy and well cared for.

I failed.

I am sorry little puffer. I am sorry you were taken from your home, where you were happy. I am sorry you were purchased by someone who didn't care enough to learn about you first.

I am sorry people are stupid.

I am sorry you are gone.

07:09 on September 27, 2000 image
Autumn Days Are Upon Us

Oh happy day! Autumn is almost here!

Fallen leaves crunching under foot. Fleecy shirts and combat boots. Warm afternoons and chill nights just right for cozying up with a thick down comforter.

Time for apples and pumpkins. Oh the pies I will make. For hot cider and tea. Time for chili and thick vegetable stew with fluffy dumplings.

But best of all is Halloween.

It's my favorite holiday. Time for fun and tricks. You can be anything you want, for just one night. I love seeing what fantastic creations are possible.

I always wanted to throw a festival. With a towering bon-fire we could all gather around as the chill set in. Stories and treats. With all my friends.

What fun that would be.

01:09 on September 27, 2000 image
Halloween Costume

I have already decided on my costume for Halloween this year.

I would dress up in a Level 4 bunny suit and sling a monkey over my shoulder.

A realistic looking stuffed toy monkey, anyway. Because I don't have a monkey of my own. But I wish I did.

Trouble is, I don't know where I will get my hands on a positive pressure bio-hazard suit. It's not the sort of thing you can make. And they are unimaginably expensive to buy. Doesn't anyone have a broken one I can have?

Course, no one would get it anyway. But I think it's extremely clever. And fun!

01:09 on September 27, 2000 image
Down 99%

Well, Words That Make Me Laugh didn't fare so well at the polls. Overall user satisfaction was less than .05%.

C'mon, you can't tell me saying grandee over and over doesn't make you giggle. Just a little?

Hmmm?

08:09 on September 25, 2000 image
Einstein Understood

"Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet"

-Albert Einstein

05:09 on September 22, 2000 image
New Theme

In honor of my newly regained health, and surviving the toxic effects of the ant poison that was improperly applied in my apartment, I have decided to add a new, boring, useless theme to my site.

Words that make me laugh.

Today's words:

grandee
ululate
billingsgate

05:09 on September 22, 2000 image
Ant Update

And because I know you care so much, here's an update on the ant situation.

The pest control guy came back and sprayed my whole apartment. He coated everything, the place was all drips and puddles.

But!

I have only seem a handful of ants this weekend. And they were all looking pretty bad.

So I am having a bit of hope. And I even cooked dinner in my very own kitchen for the first time in a month last night!

I just wish I didn't feel so icky, because I want to have a festival to celebrate the end of the ants. I have a horrid headache and my throat is kind of burning. Plus I am really tired and all wobbly.

Bleh!

07:09 on September 11, 2000 image
Ugh

I don't feel so great today. My throat is all scratchy and my ears are full of pressure.

Ack.

I have school from 11am to 8pm tonight. No time to eat all day and I feel so yucky.

I want some Jamba Juice, cold and slushy! Mmmm, so nice on my hurty throat.....

I also want to crawl into my bed and snore. I feel all woozie.

01:09 on September 11, 2000 image
Lunch Date

We went to the Pizza Kitchen today for lunch. It's so nummy there.

Here I am making my best face. I think I am quite possibly the most un-photogenic person to ever grace this planet.

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And here is Daniel making his.

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Now I promise, no more pictures today.

Really!

07:09 on September 10, 2000 image
Camera Crazy

This weekend was filled with much needed goodness. Daniel came to visit me. And it was just the best.

He brought the digital camera so we could take some pictures. How much fun is that?

Here I am at 3 AM working on a watercolor assignment at school.

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And here is the lovely painting Daniel made.

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And here is the wonderful bun himself!

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Are you tired of this yet?

07:09 on September 10, 2000 image
Bad Ants

I think I am going to cry.

I have been reasearching Pharoah Ant, since I am having such trouble with them. Everywhere I read about them tells me the same thing.

"A pharoah ant colony is normally very large (up to hundreds of thousands per nest). These ants have the ability to suddenly appear in numerous spots because they have multiple nesting sites within an infested structure. Control measures to eliminate pharoah ants can take six months or more and are best left to the pest control professional."

So I could expect to continue to live like this for months, not a week or two as I was told. Course, they told me back at the beginning of August that they would be gone in a week. And they are still here, worse than before.

And, if not being able to have any food in my house or cook a meal wasn't bad enough, these ants bite. I have bite marks on my hands, feet, scalp and ears. They attack me in my sleep.

How am I supposed to cope with this?

06:09 on September 2, 2000 image
I Spy

Right now on my balcony is a tiny Downy Woodpecker. He's looking right at me with his little eye.

Now he's pecking on the balcony again.

I love him.

And the squirrel that comes to visit too. I am going to buy him some nuts.

04:09 on September 2, 2000 image
Why me

I really hate Pharaoh Ants.

I found out what they are called today because the old bats that run this place finally sent a guy over to bait for them. The first time he baited it didn't do anything. I don't see how it's going to be any different this time.

He told me he's been doing this for years and has never seen such an infestation. The only other apartment in the building affected is down on the corner. And they don't have many at all.

So it's just me.

Now, if I was a messy, unclean person I could understand. But I'm not. My apartment is spotless. I wash my dishes immediately after using them. I clean my kitchen and bathroom everyday. I don't leave food out. I take out my garbage every morning.

I am not a messy troll. I am probably too clean, really.

So what exactly is so appealing about my apartment? Why are these ants bothering me?

It's not as if there is any food left in the place. They ruined it all and I had to throw everything away. I refuse to buy anything until they are gone for at least a few weeks. I can't risk having everything wiped out again.

So yeah!

It's been three weeks since I have been able to cook a meal in my kitchen. And it's going to be at least three more before I might be able to again.

Great.

12:09 on September 1, 2000 image
Whirrrrr

I'm full of absent minded pixie energy!

09:09 on September 1, 2000 image
Nice to See You Too

Hello Blogger!

Why have you been ignoring me?

I wasn't. I'm just really busy this week.

Don't you love me anymore?

Of course I do! Don't be like that.

Then why have you been ignoring me?

I wasn't. I was just busy with school. Lot's of things to do, you know.

You don't love me anymore!

Sigh.......

07:08 on August 31, 2000 image
Ni hao

Tonight I am going to watch ChungKing Express. And maybe I will be able to understand five whole words now that I have had a week of Chinese.

I am also going to eat potato chips and pistachio ice cream. Not at the same time though....

So there!

12:08 on August 28, 2000 image
Counting the Days

Everything is wrong today. Daniel is back in Chicago and I am alone again.

It's funny how in just two days you can get so used to someone's presence. All the little things they do.

That's what I am missing the most right now. Things that I don't want to explain. Things that only mean something to me. To us.

The apartment was so empty last night. I couldn't sleep. There was no one snoring in my ear. I had all the blankets to myself, but out of habit I tried not to use up too much of them. I tried to keep to my side of the bed, so I wouldn't crowd someone who wasn't there.

So for the next 2 weeks until he can visit again, I will keep busy, throw myself into my schoolwork. Anything, just too keep from realizing how wrong everything seems. Anything to forget how terrible this all feels.

And this is how I will get by for the next 35 weeks, until I graduate.

Until everything is right again.

12:08 on August 28, 2000 image
Empty

I wanted to talk about profound and deep things here tonight. I wanted to say things that had real value. Something meaningful and rich. Unlike all my other posts.

Instead, I stare blankly at the monitor, too tired to express what I feel.

10:08 on August 28, 2000 image
Go, Go! Godzilla

Daniel and I went to see Godzilla 2000 today. It was the awesome, not like that sad thing they put out here in the US.

No, this was perfect! Classic. Cheap. Exactly what it was meant to be. We love Godzilla!

In honor of this achievement, I have dubbed my bed Regenerator G1.

Go see the movie and you will understand why.

09:08 on August 26, 2000 image
Best Visit

Oh! Lucky best popular day! Only 12 more hours until Daniel is here in my very own house.

12:08 on August 25, 2000 image
Confused

So what exactly does it mean when a guy walks by and says to you, "Nice bagels!". And no, I wasn't carrying any bagels.

12:08 on August 25, 2000 image
Spy Fly

OH! I really want one of these. Look how cute they are, buzzing all around.

Spy Fly

04:08 on August 25, 2000 image
To the Moon

I am Sgt. Space Onion, Commander of the Year 3000 and I have a shiney red rocketship!

10:08 on August 24, 2000 image
ARGH! Ants

I still have those little brown ants all over my apartment. I even brought some to school with me today in my book bag. It's disgusting. I want them out.

OUT! OUT! OUT!!!

Last night I was watching the Matrix, when I looked up and saw a brown, furry spider the size of a VW bus on the ceiling above me. I caught it in a glass jar and looked at him for a while. I was trying to decide whether or not he was a good spider. Upon careful examination, I determined the over-sized, hairy fangs he was sporting were not something you would find on a friendly spider, so I put him outside. Far, far away, outside.

I don't really want to be responsible for the death of anything. But rules, there have to be rules. And the bugs are breaking them. Stay out of my food, bed, hair, ect. Don't crawl on me. Don't scare me. Keep your pointy fangs and numerous legs to yourselves.

Now, that's not asking so much is it?

12:08 on August 23, 2000 image
New Name

Since I am taking Chinese, I have a Chinese name! It's Pan Dao Ming.

I like that class lots. It's fun to say Pan Dao Ming. I say it all the time! Just because.

Pan Dao Ming!

01:08 on August 23, 2000 image
It Didn't Get Better

Today, believe it or not, was actually worse than yesterday.

I also had to throw away every single bit of food in my house.

See, last month when I came home from Chicago to get my bills, I had a problem.

Tiny, little, brown ants.

So I told my landlord.

They sent out a man to spray. I know this because he left his card on my counter.

But, unfortunately, it did nothing to stop the ants.

They were in everything. The salt, the sugar, the flour, the spices. In my cereal. In unopened boxes of pasta. Inside sealed ziplock bags.

My hot peppers, dried mushrooms, noodles, rice, crackers, cookies, you name it, all ruined.

There was nothing they were not crawling all over.

And there were dead bodies in everything too.

So all I was able to salvage of the food and cooking staples that needed to last me all semester, was a can of tomato paste, and some soba noodles in a sealed plastic wrapper. I also have a few packages of Ichiban ramen noodles that I brought with me last night from Chicago.

Everything else was infested.

So, now I have no food.

And I have no money. My student loans are delayed, and will not be here for two weeks.

So it looks like I am in for a world of hurt. Haven't eaten since Thursday.

God, my life sucks the most right now.

But hey, thank god for free internet access. Otherwise, how could you listen to me complain.

02:08 on August 20, 2000 image
Just Watch Me

I am about to do the unimaginable. The unbelievable.

I am going to cozy up in the bed with this incredible book , eat cheddar cheese pretzels and drink Mr. Pibb.

I rule!

05:08 on August 16, 2000 image
Waking

I'm you and you are me, and we are here.

I'm the dreamer, you are the dream.

06:08 on August 12, 2000 image
Samurai

Listening to Samurai by Juno Reactor.

Anata wa taiyo (You are the sun)
Anata wa hikari (You are the light)

02:08 on August 12, 2000 image
WonderBorg

WonderBorg!

I HAVE to go to Japan!

03:08 on August 6, 2000 image
Watch This Movie

Movie from Haruhiko Shono. (18.3MB)

03:08 on August 6, 2000 image
Dreamline - Dave McKean

Dreamline :: Dave McKean

His current gallery is wonderful. The shrimp is by far my favorite.

02:08 on August 6, 2000 image
Best Toy Ever

You're never going to believe what Daniel bought for me at the Shedd Aquarium.

A Porcupine Puffer Yoyo!

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It's the greatest! It even has two little bucky teeth in the front. And it's all spikey! If I had my scanner here, you could see for yourself.

I think I might like it better than the Pufferfish Alarm Clock that Sebastian sent me for building his site. But that remains to be determined. I really like the clock too.

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The yoyo completely made up for the lack of puffers at the aquarium itself. I was totally disappointed. Only one in the whole place. But he was sweet. I wanted to tuck him under my arm and set him free in the ocean. Back home where he belongs.

There was a diver in the tank feeding the fish. You can volunteer to do that! Too bad I am leaving for school in a few days. Can you imagine me in a tank with a three foot puffer?

I would go hyper all over the place!

You know I would have to pet him and feed him treats when no one was looking.

Zoos, aquariums and other animal preserves really tear at me. I love to see all the animals. Yet at the same time, I feel horrible that they are in captivity. They need to be free, in a place of their own. It's not right to keep them like that just because we can. I think they suffer more than we realize.

But I really did have a nice time. Despite the guilt. And I have the greatest, super-fun yoyo of all time!

02:08 on August 6, 2000 image
SmokymonkeyS

Wow! I really like this. Nice, yes?

SmokymonkeyS

04:08 on August 3, 2000 image
B-b-b-buuurrrr

You know what's good about today?

Clean warm socks!

It's cold here.

08:08 on August 2, 2000 image
Reflection

I've been thinking about my life lately. Mostly about where it went. I used to have one, I am quite sure of that. I remember it clearly.

I had a purpose. A will. I had a future that I was prepared to work toward.

Where did I lose that?

When did the size of your pocketbook become more important than the size of your brain? Or the size of your heart?

I find it hard to understand the logic in that.

I find it hard to live the way I want because our culture dictates what is acceptable. And the current trends in acceptablity are in violation of my beliefs.

I don't think people have a right to ruin the world just because we consider ourselves to be smarter, better, above.

I am ashamed of the way people, corportations and governments treat the planet. It seems that no one understands this is the only one we have.

It's not replacable.

It's not going to repair the damage, pollution and destruction we cause.

Not with us still living.

We kill each other over such petty things. Shoes, cars, oil, land.

When will people realize how unique we are and act responsibly?

I just want to live a simple life. Do no harm. I don't want to worry about toxins in my food and water. Or the chemicals in the air I breath. I just want to be small and leave no mark.

I don't care about money or power. I don't care about the "whoever has the most toys wins" mentality. I don't care about disposable whatz-itz or one use thing-a-ma-bobs.

When did we embrace wastefulness as a virtue?

Whatever happended to quality over quantity. Something to leave to your children and their children.

Is there a single product in your home (or even your home itself) made after 1950 that would be functional one hundred years from now?

It's doubtful.

18 months.

After that, throw it away and buy a new one.

How sad.

Live simply. Work Hard. Learn. Be smart. Isn't that the real goal? Not cell phones and Palm PCs. Not chemical laden food and pesticides in the water. Not 70 hour work weeks and heart attacks at 45.

It seems that I am being dragged along in a culture I don't agree with. And I don't know how to live the way I want to. I either need a lot of money or there needs to be a global change in ideals. I doubt either of those things will ever happen.

So where does a girl like me go?

Where can I find a little bit of comfort and happiness?

05:08 on August 1, 2000 image
The Internet The Way I Remember

Do you remember the internet before it became a global billboard. I do. I remember the first ad I saw. It was for Cdnow. And I knew that was it. The end.

I am tired of having useless products pushed at me everywhere I look. The tele, radio, park benches, sides of buildings, buses, trains, clothing, even the back of the car I PAID for. Why should I be a driving advert for a car dealership. Hey, if they want that, they should be paying me.

Pretty soon those marketing freaks are going to find a way to beam ads directly into our heads. We will dream of the newest, greatest, fastest, best useless crap ever! All built with a 18 month life expectancy, so we can buy even more stuff even sooner.

Sure can't wait.

06:07 on July 23, 2000 image
Food Of The Gods

The food of gods! (In 7 easy steps)

Step One
Purchase one package Sapporo Ichiban with fried bean curd, a box of frozen snow peapods, fresh carrots and spinach.

Step Two
Rush home because you are starting to drool.

Step Three
Grab a saucepan. Any saucepan.

Step Four
Boil 2.5 cups H2O.

Step Five
Add a generous portion of snow peapods, carrots and spinach.

Step Six
Add noodles and spice pack.

Step Seven
Pour into an oversized bowl and top with bean curd squares.

Don't forget the chopsticks!

Caution!
Contents may be hot.
Allow to cool before eating.

05:07 on July 18, 2000 image
Nightmares Surfacing

Last night was about nightmares. Seemed everytime I managed to calm myself enough to fall back asleep, another one surfaced. Worse than the last.

I feel really drained today. I'm in a grog. Everything is fuzzy and distant. Even the keyboard feels different. Like I am typing through jello.

One of the nightmares caused me to yell in my sleep. I woke to Daniel shaking me. But in my sleep, the gentle shakes were violent punches. A man had managed to break into my apartment. He was someone I knew, in my dreamworld. I was startled by his attack. I tried to fight back, but I was tangled in a web. I couldn't free myself, even uttering the words, "You can do anything here....dissolve the bonds." had no effect.

I have a great deal of control over my dreams, I do as I please. It's truly wonderful. Like ripples that play across tall grass on a warm spring day. Flowing. Tranquil.

But the nightmares, I am helpless to them. I have no power.

And they haunt me nearly every night.

Some have been with me since the beginning. Repeated over and over. I know the story. I know what will happen next. I tell my dreamself to go another direction or use another tactic. But I always fail and am left helpless.

A particular one has been with me since I was three. I recorded it over a year ago, hoping it would weaken in the telling. But still it comes. As often as ever.

They came again last night. The invisible ones. To gobble me up. To devour me and leave me lost.

I felt their presence long before I heard them scurry across the ceiling.

They never show themselves, but I know every detail of these deformed, hideous beasts. On spider legs, dripping with stagnant ooze. Bodies covered with barbed bristles. Mouths gaping, teeth like needles. Warty, rotting tongues.

They snatch me from my sleep and pin me to the ceiling. They claw at me. Shred, tear, rip. Their teeth pierce my flesh. I feel my hand burning in it's mouth, being torn on it's callous tongue.

Then just as swiftly, they leave. The spell broken, I fall back to the floor.

Yes, the spell is broken. And I wake.

02:07 on July 17, 2000 image
Ranting

I feel exceptionally surly. I have little optimism. About anything. Sometimes, all the outside, too many people, doing so many stupid things, having too many kids, breaking everything good and nice....well it gets to me.

Sometimes, I just wish they would all go away.

Isn't there anywhere a semi-intelligent, quiet kind of girl can go to just sit and enjoy the world, without some idiot coming along and messing it up with their pack of screaming brats throwing whatever they are finished with on the ground.

Use a trash can for god's sake!

And stop breeding! Isn't 6,000,000,000 people enough?

04:07 on July 14, 2000 image
A Song, Some Code And A Poem

What an amazing day. Everything is beautiful and quiet. I'm listening to Hum and working on my new site design. It's all starting to emerge.

......"and all the dreams details perfected in the colored sky...."

I think Green to Me is my favorite song on this CD. For the moment anyway.

Last night I played around with the new beta of Moho. It's too much fun! And now you can import .ai files. Now, who doesn't love that?

It's a wonderful day. I couldn't be more content.

Hmm, on second thought, the only thing that would make it better is if someone would get home from Flash Training. Soon. He will be here soon.

"Ah love, could thou and I with fate conspire,
to grasp this sorry scheme of things entire.
Would we not shatter it to bits
and remold it closer to the hearts desire?"

- Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

04:07 on July 14, 2000 image
In My Head

"Are you coming back for me.
I'm so tired I can't see."

I hate when the cd I want to hear is 384 miles away. Die Kreuzen - Cement. Track 9: Deep Space. I really could use a little of that right now.

05:07 on July 13, 2000 image
This Is My Life

Because you wanted to know. Here are some things that I like.

Bands
David Bowie
Juno Reactor
Hooverphonic
Hum

Movies
Chungking Express
2001
The Trial
Dr. Strangelove

Directors
Hayao Miyazaki - Studio Ghibli
Wong Kar Wai
Yuen Woo Ping

Recent Books
Cobweb
Vurt
Pollen
Pixel Juice
Neverwhere
A Brief History of Time
Obasan

Restaurants
The Chicago Diner (Chicago)
Gill's (Milwaukee)
A Dong (Des Moines)
Lee's Vietnamese (Ames)

Activities
Biking, hiking, camping, ect
Computer graphics, modeling, tinkering
Lucid dreaming
Reading

Could Live Without
Inconsiderate people
Bad smells, like garbage, sewer, tuna helper
T.V.

Words
plethora
trousers
xylem
quotidian
pontificate

Colors
#808080
#666633
#1E3A49

Sites
LiteStep.net
Nausicaa.net
Whip the Donkey's Ass
ThreeOh
Placing
99Secrets
Kia.net
Martial Artist's Guide: Hong Kong Films

07:07 on July 10, 2000 image
Neema's Gone

I came back to Chicago to find my Neema dead. My sweetest little grey dwarf hammy. Gone away.

What a sad day it is.

She used to sit on my shoulder and nest in my hair while I worked at my computer. Just Friday night she cozied up in my blanket and slept while I watched the tele. I tucked the blanket right up over her ears, just the way she likes it.

I will miss her hammy ways.

11:07 on July 9, 2000 image
Mystery Dog

I went to Milwaukee to visit my cousin Mary last night. Reindeer games and all! We went to buy a fishing pole (it had to be a pink Zebco 220, nothing else would do) for a trip she is going on. Then we stopped by a friend of her's house for a little bit.

Around 2 am, as we were returning to her house, we found a dog with no collar running in the street. We thought he was her neighbor's, but it turned out he wasn't. We walked around the neighborhood to see if anyone was looking for him. No one was.

So he stayed the night.

Today we called the Humane Society and they directed us to Animal Control, but they are not open today. It looks like he will be staying another night.

So who's dog are you?

02:07 on July 9, 2000 image
Unexpected

He said, "I like living with you".

I just smiled.

Because I didn't realize that we were.

11:07 on July 2, 2000 image
A Bachelorette's Cupboard

refrigerator
4 bottles of Paulaner Hefe Weiss
5 bottles of Schneider Aventinus dopple weizenbock

peaches, canned in sugar ladden syrup
mandarin oranges
9 Ginger Gold apples
bagels
Tofutti Better Than Creamcheese
Tofurky

cheese of indeterminate origin. Possibly dill havarti. It's hard to tell, since it has gone a bad shade of green.

cupboard
Kashi 7 grain pilaf
basmati rice
popcorn

Hmm, yeah.

11:06 on June 27, 2000 image
Just Now

Can you smell that?

Rain!

It's raining!

11:06 on June 27, 2000 image
Trying to write Haiku

Today, a treat! Haiku!

Little weed
leaves reaching for the sun
confident in it's greeness.

Soap bubble
drifting on the breeze
a symphony of colors.

Cockroach on it's back
legs twitching
baking in the sun.

09:06 on June 27, 2000 image
Trip to ChinaTown

I'm going to ChinaTown to have Vegetarian Mu-shu! Oh tasty delight! I am going to eat every bite. Yes I am.

Then I am going to go to see Titan A.E. I will have a Large 1/2 Mr. Pibb 1/2 7Up (no ice please), a medium Popcorn and Lemon Drops. The lemon drops will make the roof of my mouth raw, but I will continue to eat them anyway.

12:06 on June 17, 2000 image
Changes

I am completely redesigning Ingenium. All the old journal entries from 1996 to present will be dissappearing, and I am going to use Blogger to manage my posts now. It's much more organized than manually creating each entry and updating links and pages. Yeah.

03:27 on June 15, 2000 image